Synagogue Visit!

Tonight I visited a synagogue for the first time in my life. Coming from a “Church of England” background it was a very unique experience I won’t forget anytime soon.

Initially I planned to go with my partner, for moral support. But I emailed the congregation the wrong dates and my partner couldn’t make it. So I thought, you know what? What the heck! Just go and do it. The entire week leading up to this night I was battling my nerves. Especially me riding up on motorcycle to Exeter tonight. The fear kept telling my brain “Don’t do it, turn back, they will judge you.” But I inhaled, exhaled and went on.

I parked my motorcycle right next to the Schul. The building was positioned down an alleyway I had passed thousands of times but never actually noticed. Even the street was named “Synagogue”! How I had not noticed that before baffled me. I went up to the doors. I rung the bell a few times. Knocked the doors. No one in. I was about 30 minutes early. So a little bit eager.

Just moments after I was greeted by a great big man and another gentleman just behind him. I told them that I think I was a bit early and apologised.

We all went inside, I warmed up my hands from the cold bike ride up from Torquay. It was only about 20 miles but it takes its toll on your hands.

I spoke a little while about my interest in religions in general and Judaism. The man switched on the survelliance cameras which had me a little worried and also sympathetic. There were at least six different cameras set up to catch every view of the street. I could now see and prepare myself for more socialising as more and more people turned up to the door. I noticed bits of Hebrew up on the wall, old holocaust pictures, stars of David, it was very enlightening seeing it in person particularly meeting Jewish people in person also. As I chatted to Reese, we agreed that seeing things on the internet and experiencing them in real life are very different indeed.

I was then offered a prayer book and a Kippah to wear on my head. We all sat down to the back of the synagogue where the heating was most active. The inside was stunning. The place dated back from 1763.

The candles were then lit, a prayer was said, and we all sat back down.

We then started flipping through the book and reading. I was not speaking aloud as I was trying to observe what was going on around me, and what this strange language I was hearing meant. (Luckily they all had english text right next to the hebrew text, and also romanised characters of hebrew).

First off when everyone started singing in Hebrew I found it hard to settle in and let loose. There were some good voices and some bad and I found that distracting. But I really let myself go and learnt to just listen indiscriminately and really enjoyed the melodies and the sound of Hebrew. It was a very rough, but a very satisfying kind of language. Some parts were spoken in Hebrew and some in English. People around me were bowing as we reached the meditative parts of prayer and turning towards specific parts of the building, which at points I believed was facing towards Israel, Jerusalem. which I thought was respectful and also very mindful.

As the service came to an end, we all shook hands saying the phrase: “shabbat shalom!”

I then left the building, putting my biker gear on and reflecting on what I had just been through. Absorbing the melodies and thinking of the prayers.

It was a great religious experience and I recommend it to anyone interested in understanding and respecting other religions! Particularly in overcoming nerves and going out there and doing something for yourself!

And so the adventure still continues~

Recent Activity~

I’m really happy to be posting again and writing. I haven’t writen any poetry for quite a few months now. It’s an odd sensation. For me creativity and inspiration comes in waves. Just like moods, and different ways of thinking. It can be really productive but also quite scary as to how fast and how much I can change, it takes a while for me to get my footing again, but I really feel like I’m starting to control this a bit better as I get older. Is that a good thing?

Lots of things have been going on for me over the past few months. I’ve fufilled my dream of owning an adventure bike. I’m yet to use it to its full capabilities! But I’ve been on quite a few day trips and over just a month I’ve done 1546 miles (2488 kilometres). I’m very much addicted to riding this beast of a bike. I got a brand new NC750X Honda imported straight from the land of the rising sun, Japan. Which blew me over the moon, being a Japanophile.

I’ve been thinking about this blog often, what I should do with it, should I solely write in poetry or should I use it just to write and post content on my “exploits”. Recently I’ve even purchased a helmet camera to catch some footage of the places I travel to. Catching a first person perspective of myself riding a motorbike is beyond bizzare but incredible. I’d like the idea of making motorbike riding music videos or just mini documentaries of places I visit, just having chats. Unfortunately the first video I’ve put on youtube, I’ve mounted the camera way to forward so there’s a frustrating angle to deal with. I’ve fixed it now but it is very annoying, haha. I suppose you learn as you go.

Many times I’ve been thinking, how should I express myself, how can I reach to people, how can I be seen or heard. I think a lot of us think the same thing. How we want to be known. Music, photography, video, painting, drawing, poetry, singing. All these things we do to be seen or heard. To be pondered on, on our unique point of view as a human being, our intellect and our minds.

I think I will just use this blog to post what I feel strongly about and write poetry as I always love to.

Anyhow, it’s nice to write, and it’s nice to be back.

Hope you’re all doing well!

If you’re interested in some of the videos I’ve made and will be making, then check out the link below:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH8u8kQSphPcXFX_PNml8vw

me and dad 3

I’m back..

Hey guys. It feels like a lifetime I’ve been gone for but it’s only been a few measly weeks. But those few measly weeks have changed me so much. They’ve completely changed my life’s direction. Writing on the road was difficult. To me, writing is just another medium, y’know? I took to singing a lot. I sang everywhere I went on my motorbike, coming up with the lyrics was like writing to poetry to me and I got just as much release as I would sitting in my room, writing away.

I broke up with my long term girlfriend. I know what you’re thinking. I probably met some girls along the road. Sure, there were many temptations and that’s one of the reasons I split up with her. I feel like I can’t keep missing out on these experiences. I reached John O’ Groats and it became more and more apparent to me I need to do my own thing. I need to travel without being chained down. I need to experience other people. It was such a hard thing to finally accept. But y’know what, I am 50% of the relationship too and if I’m not happy and feel like I’m not growing, then I need to grow some balls and tell her the truth.

So that has been a major change in my life.

Another one is that I’ve finally found somewhere I’d love to move to. Glasgow! Beautiful city, love the Scots and there’s literally a tonne of surrounding nature if the city life gets too much for me.

Being on the road every day was addictive. I met so many people. I had so many genuine chats. Mostly drunken ones. But aren’t we all more honest when we’re drunk or high? There’s no holding back, no barriers stopping us. What a world we’d all live in if we were all drunk.

I learnt so much about my best friend too. We were never apart the entire two weeks. I feel like right now he should be right behind me suggesting where we should eat next or which girl takes he’s into. It’s helped us grow together as friends.

So right now I feel incredibly lonely, I feel like I’ve still got itchy feet. I need to move about, I need to write, I need to express. I suppose it’s also dealing with going back to work tomorrow too. I can just feel it looming over me. I suppose with life it’s all give and take, right?

Hope you’ve all been well. I know it’s a bit raw all this, but I like to be honest and human and I’m sure you guys can appreciate that. Hope you enjoy the pics too!

Europe tour happening next year for sure after I upgrade the bike. I will miss the trusty little ped.

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Just a little, small annoucement to make

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Hi to all those staying and those just passing by. I have a small annoucement to make! I’m not one for doing these and it feels corny doing so. But, here we are.

In about a week and a bit I’m off on a tour around the UK on my trusty ped. I’m going all over the place, leaving for about two weeks. Honestly, it’s a much needed break from work and miserable but safe routine.

Now I love travelling, I love seeing different places, it gives me quite a rush. Being on the move is certainly something. I’m sure this makes me sound just like one of the those “I love travelling, it’s my life!” But it’s true! We all need it once in a while to break out of our comfort zones, to see how others live, to learn and grow. It’s the biggest inspiration anyone can have.

So yes. I’m going all the way from the southern tip of England in Devon, right the way to the furthermost part of Scotland, John O’ Groats. Then hopefully coming back to Cornwall to reach lands end, where I’ve been before. I’m really hoping my ped doesn’t die on me or I die on my ped. So I hope you wish us both luck!

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why are you writing about all this on a poetry/writing blog. Well of course, this is gonna effect my writing ever so slightly! Which is why all of my posts over the two weeks while I’m gone will be scheduled. I may have internet where I’m going, I may not. Only time will tell. So communication on my blog might be fairly limited. But please know that I’m having a whale of a time and hope you are all well.

Another small announcement:

I am actually working on a novel right now which I hope some of you may be interested in. Obviously it’s quite far-fetched that it may grab even the smallest of attention but I felt it worth saying and I hope you look forward to it! It’s great fun to write and hopefully great fun to read. Will post further updates as it progresses!

Yet another small, tiny annoucement

I would just like to say thank you to all those following my work and hanging around still! Really appreciate ya, truly am flabbergasted that people enjoy my writing, I’m continually amazed.

A Very Short Story

The words of the email began mulling around in my brain. There’s never much going on there anyhow so they don’t colide with much. Just bouncing on the walls of my skull. Echoes in the empty chamber. “We regret to inform you but due to budget reasons, we will have to end your contract. If you have any disagreements or anything you would like to say or if you would like to take this further as a tribunal please contact us with the number present in this email. We’d like to thank you for your service over these many years! Please deliver your work uniform to the present address in this email. You will be reimbursed for delivery costs. Cheers.”

So that was it. After twenty one years of working it’s come to this. All those hours I put in. All that overtime I took. All that commitment. All those managers I kissed up to. The occasions I missed to get promotions. Should I say “attempt to get” rather.

I suppose that’s it. Not much else I can do now really. I wonder how things are looking in the pension pot?

Becoming a Man

“I hate the way it feels.” “The way what feels, Jamie?” Asked his mother, putting her book down. “The way my limbs feel just awkwardly laying about. I just can’t rest them. Do you ever get that feeling? When everything is just uncomfortable.” “I can’t say I do Jamie, I don’t often have time to think about anything I’m feeling, I’m so busy, as you know.” “Busy with what? All you ever do is watch over me and read.” The mother sighed. “Can we not just have a conversation?” “I know exactly where this will lead Jamie, and I will most certainly not speak of it again. Now you sit there, and be a good boy.” “Mother, I am twenty tomorrow, do you not see how patronising you sound?” “But you are just a boy, Jamie, nothing more. You do nothing, you do not work, you do not study, you sit there, complaining, and you call it conversation.” “I just want someone to talk to, mother, that’s all.” “Talk to me when you’re a man, Jamie, then I may listen.”

And so, Jamie took it upon himself to learn to be a man. He put himself to work, for money he certainly did not need and know how to spend. He gave half his wages to his mother, who refused to talk. Months passed, work grew grimmer and dimmer, the money kept coming in, yet he still didn’t know what to do with it. The pile grew and grew, the sparkle of gold certainly caught the eye of some young ladies. Eventually they would come knocking, coming to teach Jamie how to spend his money. Makeup, perfume, holidays and restaurants, they came and went, until the pile diminished and they lost interest. Until one lady came knocking even though there was no pile. Jamie, enthralled, moved out immediately, shadowing the great figure of the lady who took a chance on him. She managed him, rationed to him, washed him, pleasured him, until he became a man. He hates the way it feels. But his mother talks to him now.

 

The Man, the Field and the Porridge Oats.

I don’t know how we ended up in this place. My memory doesn’t allow me to remember. We walk up and down this field many times each day. Those that escape through the hedged borders of this field only return solemn faced. Never again meeting anothers eye. There is an electric power line running through the centre of the field. Standing tall and defiant. Outside of the man’s reach. Some try to climb to the top but they never come back down again. The clouds forbid us to see.

No matter how hard we try, we simply cannot talk to eachother. The words do not form in our mouths. It’s been so long since another has graced my ears with conversation. All we do is endlessly walk up and down this field for a reason I cannot fathom. Every week the man will come in a range rover through the gate and unload a mound of porridge oats. This is our excitement. I’m too hungry to question what’s in the porridge oats. We scramble over each other in a frenzied race to reach the pile. shoving as many handfuls of porridge oats down our throats as we can manage.

He will observe us for quite some time while we eat. Removing those that begin to form words with their mouths. Those that learn to stand upright from all fours. Those that begin to question the porridge oats. Those that are simply unhealthy, no longer providing whatever it is the man needs.

While I chew my porridge oats I look up to the powerline. The clouds have dispersed. I can see them clearly. I stand upright and gaze above me. I hear laughter and conversation. They’re forming words! The man in the range rover cannot reach them so they are happy. Yet they can’t eat. Soon they will have to come down and share the same fate all of us are bound to. I quickly fall down to all fours. Every day more and more join us.

I don’t know what will happen in the future.