Tag: Existential

Diary of a Mass Murderer

Bullied since I entered the building

For my weirdly shaped head

I thought I was better?

The insults grind up and smash

against my tiny brain

Like a storm of jagged stones

They even throw them at me

 

My family can’t even look at me

They pass my room

Squeaking some faint noise

Shove my food on a tray and slide it

Under my door, like a prison

“Have you got a job yet?”

 

Their names stand like ghosts

Whispering around my brain

I can hear their words in my dreams

That’s right, I’m nothing, my ocean

The shampoo in my eyes

 

She left me and I felt nothing

I’ve played out the scene in my head

A thousand times before in my mind

Before we even met

I acted sad on the stage

But in actuality nothing is reacting

I just drink a glass of orange juice

 

The nitrous fills my lungs

I float higher than the balloon in front of me

 

When I come back down

My eyes break like glass

 

Lack of Communication

Hovering on top of a parade

Of tiny black ants

They lead me to the sea

But not a step further

It’s a place they can’t grasp

So they fear it

Leaving whispers in the salty air

As they head home

 

I stare out to the sea

I try to make conversation with it’s waves

But they’re too fleeting

Rising and falling

Living and dying

I don’t want to occupy too

much of their short

Lives

 

So I shout out to the ocean

Timeless

But it has no mouth

So it can’t reply even if it wanted to

I guess some things on this planet

Aren’t meant to communicate

A Deep Tranquil Blue

A path of bright stars appears in front of me

Leading to a dark sky

A night that will never end

A darkness that will forever be still

 

I follow it

until the stars beneath my feet

Burn out and fall to black

 

My thoughts turn from

Alarming Green

To worried yellow

To angry red

Until I reach a peaceful blue

 

A deep peaceful blue that lingers

Ringing sofly in my mind

until it falls and dissipates

Into the night

 

I slowly melt into black

Now that my mind has given way

I melt into what we were

And what we are always meant to be

A Simple Man

He sang with a simple voice

Simple, but honest

He led a normal life

Read easy, fluffy books

Had cliche memories

And such pleasant dreams

He felt something was wrong

When everything was right

The world was not so simple as he thought it

An empty hole gaping further across his heart

Filling itself with overused inspirational quotes

The words turned to jumbled up letters

So he did what any sane man would do

He took his own life

And the simple people wondered why

A Seedling in a Vast Sky

I am soft spoken with a hard crust

I trip and fall over words

As hurdles are presented to me

I ride through the wind

Shaking like a leaf

But I’m sturdy as a tree

My Gran always said!

“Be bamboo, flexible, bend with the wind, don’t break!”

Through the strong smell of wine

Chase your dreams, they say

Well I just can’t seem to pick one

So for the mean time I’ll float like a dandelion

Germinating where I land

The Human Condition

Walking on into a field

Where blood has been spilt

Soldiers have bayoneted one another

Bullets have teared and ripped skin

Lances have pierced and run down many men

Horses have trampled faces into the ground

Swords have butchered flesh

Cannons have spread body parts into beautiful artworks

Dogs have feasted upon terrified foxes

Young women have bled here in painful solitude

Men have cut themselves raw

Shell shock

Bombs

Gas

Hysterical laughter

Graveyards

Screams

Maggots

Angels and demons

The bible

The grass is red, so, so red

The Devil is here

And he has been fed

 

No Matter Where I Go

I tried looking for my mind

But I couldn’t find it anywhere

 

I climbed the Himalayan mountains

Right to the top

Dancing with the eagles

 

I swam in the Dead Sea

Letting my body float

For who knows how long

 

I flew in a hot air balloon

Across the red Arabic sky

Sand as far as the eye can see

 

I ventured through the cold,

wintery forests of Russia

Taking refuge with the wolves

 

I blazed through the deserts of America

On a Harley Davidson

Riding with the coyotes

 

I studied with the shaolin monks

To calm my mind

In China

 

I rode horses on a sea of grass

Drinking fermented milk

In Mongolia

 

I walked through streets filled

With cherry blossoms

And people

In Japan

 

I fished salmon in the lakes

Of Alaska

Competing with the bears

 

But no matter where I go

Or what I do

I can’t seem to find my mind