Diary of a Mass Murderer

Bullied since I entered the building

For my weirdly shaped head

I thought I was better?

The insults grind up and smash

against my tiny brain

Like a storm of jagged stones

They even throw them at me

 

My family can’t even look at me

They pass my room

Squeaking some faint noise

Shove my food on a tray and slide it

Under my door, like a prison

“Have you got a job yet?”

 

Their names stand like ghosts

Whispering around my brain

I can hear their words in my dreams

That’s right, I’m nothing, my ocean

The shampoo in my eyes

 

She left me and I felt nothing

I’ve played out the scene in my head

A thousand times before in my mind

Before we even met

I acted sad on the stage

But in actuality nothing is reacting

I just drink a glass of orange juice

 

The nitrous fills my lungs

I float higher than the balloon in front of me

 

When I come back down

My eyes break like glass

 

Lack of Communication

Hovering on top of a parade

Of tiny black ants

They lead me to the sea

But not a step further

It’s a place they can’t grasp

So they fear it

Leaving whispers in the salty air

As they head home

 

I stare out to the sea

I try to make conversation with it’s waves

But they’re too fleeting

Rising and falling

Living and dying

I don’t want to occupy too

much of their short

Lives

 

So I shout out to the ocean

Timeless

But it has no mouth

So it can’t reply even if it wanted to

I guess some things on this planet

Aren’t meant to communicate

Raided

A crack that was once sealed

Tears open in my heart

The unnamed creatures pour out

Winged, finned

Thousand legged

Thousand eyes

Countless monsters

Wreak havoc in my body

They pull at my heart strings

They cement my thoughts

They dry my skin

Scratching behind my eyes

With their claws

Their laughter

Denies me any focus

I once had

I let their destructive rage

Continue

Until they tire

And go home

I re-seal the crack

To begin repairs on my body

 

A Deep Tranquil Blue

A path of bright stars appears in front of me

Leading to a dark sky

A night that will never end

A darkness that will forever be still

 

I follow it

until the stars beneath my feet

Burn out and fall to black

 

My thoughts turn from

Alarming Green

To worried yellow

To angry red

Until I reach a peaceful blue

 

A deep peaceful blue that lingers

Ringing sofly in my mind

until it falls and dissipates

Into the night

 

I slowly melt into black

Now that my mind has given way

I melt into what we were

And what we are always meant to be

A Simple Man

He sang with a simple voice

Simple, but honest

He led a normal life

Read easy, fluffy books

Had cliche memories

And such pleasant dreams

He felt something was wrong

When everything was right

The world was not so simple as he thought it

An empty hole gaping further across his heart

Filling itself with overused inspirational quotes

The words turned to jumbled up letters

So he did what any sane man would do

He took his own life

And the simple people wondered why