34 thoughts on “Becoming My Shadow”

  1. Not bad! Personally, I think the poem really lies in the first two lines. There’s a great sense of mystery, of clean ominousness (not quite the right word, but I’ll leave it for now) in them, alongside a sense of freedom (tied to deprivation). It’s pretty interesting! Just the last two lines become a bit emo for meβ€”telling me what to feel and think a bit too muchβ€”and there’s a contradiction in asking to be separated from the sun and then becoming shadow, which only exists because of the sun. I think you could get rid of them and just let the poem be that strange, powerful first couplet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your detailed comment. I get what you mean but I firmly believe whatever comes out of me at that time, things that I write are supposed to stay as they are. I’m sure there’s a reason for it. Life is full of contradictions! Maybe if it wasn’t for the last two lines the first two wouldn’t strike so hard.


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