Spirits in the air
That whip up a frenzy
Mad trees
With limbs flailing about
River waters
Gushing, pushing
Craving the flood
Looking up
To tall buildings
Built from its banks
And a sun
That stares
on and on
Nothing is ever without its gaze
Wherever I move
It follows
Wherever I hide
It peers in
It informs others of my whereabouts
Nothing escapes it
And all this, lies outside my flat
A burst of indistinguishable colours
Beam up from my chest
Indescribable, and new
Replacing the old, and decrepit
Ripping and burning
Void and space
Greedily hunting down the source
To become the new light
To enable me
To paint all I see
With my own colours
From my own palette
God breakdances on the cold, hard, church floors
The worshippers clap
And the priests exclaim
Kicking, spinning, and alive
Two sets of footprints
Left in the sand
Stretching on and on
Fading from view
The gentle waves
Filling in with their paintbrushes
Painting over everything they touch
With shells, seaweed and life
A billion eyes watch from their TVs
Experiencing life behind a screen
I sip my cider and sigh:
“Life is only as hard as I make it.
It’s actually quite easy, I only have to breathe.”
I want to feel
A desperate need
And love of life
A torrent of life force
To hold me by the shoulders
And shake me, shake, shake
Until my soul leaves its lips and flies, flies
To the skies
Flitting this way and that
Feeling the sun on its wings
As it soars ever higher
Into nothingness
Broken shards of a mirror
And a sinking feeling
That takes me deep, deep down
To the bottom of the sea
Air bubbles of memories rise around me
I look closer, and see memories
Memories of all of them and all of me
My missed opportunities
Deeper and deeper I sink
Until I hit the seafloor
And, what is beauty but trickery?
What is sight but endless anxiety
All those that possess it
Give fear and feel fear
On and on
The circle spins
Gentle whispers roll about me
The rolling beat of the currents
Tossing me this way and that
The fish smell me out
And come for me
Ready to take me into their stomachs
To eat and shit, eat and shit me out
Over and over
Until I am a part of every single fish
I can see through their eyes
And I do see misery
I see myself a thousand billion times
And my heart aches, it aches
A thousand billion times, I wish I could throw this link between all my selves
But I can’t stop living, and they won’t stop eating and shitting
I can feel the air
Around my room
I can move inside of it
I can sense the currents
Surfing around my skin
I find myself resurfacing
Gasping for breaks
Only to dive right back in
To feel the cold sea water
Freeze my head
Bringing sharpness
And clarity
To my touch
My hands reach to the bottom
Grabbing clumps of sand
I rise to resurface again
Lifting my hands up to the sun
Watching the sand
Melt away from my palm
As the piano notes
Rise and fall
My being pangs
With loneliness
My voice tries to call out
But the words don’t come
Just stuttering
Watching from a distance
Shunned and stunted
Visions of the past
Pretend to hold me up
To support me
Masking themselves
As my friends
Spectres of good feelings
Hollowed out and replaced
With sinister sentiments
And so
With the daily grating
Of my spirit
Whilst listening
To their haranguing
I submit
To something far above myself
To something virtually unhuman
Virtue
The body comes up
With amazing ideas
When thoughts float by
I know the logic
But I can’t get passed
Each time I make sense of it
The memories come closer
A long time ago
They happened
Repeating themselves
Each time locking me in
As I reason with it
Moving closer
I think I’m getting better
Until I find their faces
Pressed up against the glass
Torn between two factions
Two minds and two hearts
One, tribal
The other, civilisation itself
One that runs through the forest
Spear in hand
The other in an assembly of men
Head held high, words with virtue
My heart wants to return to that forest
Whilst my head wants a place in the forum
The battle plays out constantly
Between beast and man
Does what I say,
The vessels I choose
To fill with my thoughts
Count?
With the daily confusion
Injected by surety
By those that make my decisions
And, just like that
I stumble again
Not so sure
Then sure again
Of what I’m doing
Every hour of every day
It hangs over me
Time
Holding me up
Ever curious as to what I’m doing
And like a fool, I watch her too
Tick, tick, tick away
Wherever I look
The passing of numbers
That seem to grip me
With an anxiety that feeds on itself
Poetry and Writings - A Mind 