Diary of a Mass Murderer

Bullied since I entered the building

For my weirdly shaped head

I thought I was better?

The insults grind up and smash

against my tiny brain

Like a storm of jagged stones

They even throw them at me

 

My family can’t even look at me

They pass my room

Squeaking some faint noise

Shove my food on a tray and slide it

Under my door, like a prison

“Have you got a job yet?”

 

Their names stand like ghosts

Whispering around my brain

I can hear their words in my dreams

That’s right, I’m nothing, my ocean

The shampoo in my eyes

 

She left me and I felt nothing

I’ve played out the scene in my head

A thousand times before in my mind

Before we even met

I acted sad on the stage

But in actuality nothing is reacting

I just drink a glass of orange juice

 

The nitrous fills my lungs

I float higher than the balloon in front of me

 

When I come back down

My eyes break like glass

 

Lack of Communication

Hovering on top of a parade

Of tiny black ants

They lead me to the sea

But not a step further

It’s a place they can’t grasp

So they fear it

Leaving whispers in the salty air

As they head home

 

I stare out to the sea

I try to make conversation with it’s waves

But they’re too fleeting

Rising and falling

Living and dying

I don’t want to occupy too

much of their short

Lives

 

So I shout out to the ocean

Timeless

But it has no mouth

So it can’t reply even if it wanted to

I guess some things on this planet

Aren’t meant to communicate

Raided

A crack that was once sealed

Tears open in my heart

The unnamed creatures pour out

Winged, finned

Thousand legged

Thousand eyes

Countless monsters

Wreak havoc in my body

They pull at my heart strings

They cement my thoughts

They dry my skin

Scratching behind my eyes

With their claws

Their laughter

Denies me any focus

I once had

I let their destructive rage

Continue

Until they tire

And go home

I re-seal the crack

To begin repairs on my body

 

Is This Hell?

Flashing lights and frozen wheels

Burnt asphalt and melted rubber

Traffic lights stuck on red

No one can move, no one intends to

We all wait with bated breath

We all wait for something

That will never come

The crows are curious and

The rabbits are roused

We stand like statues

Made for this moment

Waiting for something

That will never come

 

Is this hell?

A Million Angry Flies

A million flies blind my view

Their swarming black bodies buzz against me

I can feel their sick warmth

They are all I can hear

All I can

See

I walk

In search of an exit

The more I move

The more aggrivated they become

Their buzzing changes tone

Landing en-masse on my pasty skin

Vibrating their wings so rapidly

I begin to melt gradually

I close my eyes in absolute

Terror

 

The buzzing stops

I open my eyes

Slowly

A pure white horizon

Burnt out silver sun

I see her silhouette

 

I swear I can hear harps

Meeting My Reflection

I used to walk

To a local pond every day

Sit on a bench

And stare at my reflection

It would stare back at me

We wouldn’t say a word

Then we’d both make our seperate ways home

One day I got bored

So, I picked up a pebble

And threw it right at his forehead

But the little blighter threw one right back at me!