Diary of a Mass Murderer

Bullied since I entered the building

For my weirdly shaped head

I thought I was better?

The insults grind up and smash

against my tiny brain

Like a storm of jagged stones

They even throw them at me

 

My family can’t even look at me

They pass my room

Squeaking some faint noise

Shove my food on a tray and slide it

Under my door, like a prison

“Have you got a job yet?”

 

Their names stand like ghosts

Whispering around my brain

I can hear their words in my dreams

That’s right, I’m nothing, my ocean

The shampoo in my eyes

 

She left me and I felt nothing

I’ve played out the scene in my head

A thousand times before in my mind

Before we even met

I acted sad on the stage

But in actuality nothing is reacting

I just drink a glass of orange juice

 

The nitrous fills my lungs

I float higher than the balloon in front of me

 

When I come back down

My eyes break like glass

 

Lack of Communication

Hovering on top of a parade

Of tiny black ants

They lead me to the sea

But not a step further

It’s a place they can’t grasp

So they fear it

Leaving whispers in the salty air

As they head home

 

I stare out to the sea

I try to make conversation with it’s waves

But they’re too fleeting

Rising and falling

Living and dying

I don’t want to occupy too

much of their short

Lives

 

So I shout out to the ocean

Timeless

But it has no mouth

So it can’t reply even if it wanted to

I guess some things on this planet

Aren’t meant to communicate

Is This Hell?

Flashing lights and frozen wheels

Burnt asphalt and melted rubber

Traffic lights stuck on red

No one can move, no one intends to

We all wait with bated breath

We all wait for something

That will never come

The crows are curious and

The rabbits are roused

We stand like statues

Made for this moment

Waiting for something

That will never come

 

Is this hell?

A Million of Me

Press your head against my chest

Drunkedly half-assed dancing

To teenage angst-filled songs

With lyrics that only we think we get

 

I’ll hold you and kiss you

Just like millions of others

Right at this moment

 

A million versions of me

In alternate universes

Maybe they’re holding you

Maybe they’re holding another

But what we all feel

Holding our woman

It’s like a cold wave

Flooding our scorched brains

The steam lets off a hiss

Blinding us for a while

In a haze of pink

And when it fades

We all gaze into a face

That simply makes our hearts soar

A Simple Man

He sang with a simple voice

Simple, but honest

He led a normal life

Read easy, fluffy books

Had cliche memories

And such pleasant dreams

He felt something was wrong

When everything was right

The world was not so simple as he thought it

An empty hole gaping further across his heart

Filling itself with overused inspirational quotes

The words turned to jumbled up letters

So he did what any sane man would do

He took his own life

And the simple people wondered why

All Critters Big and Small

I dream of forests filled with friendly critters

Bears loudly roaring with delight, whilst hugging me

Spiders and snakes injecting serotonin

Birds motivating me with songs of praise

Fish splashing me with warm water from the river

Across my face

I dream of all animals, big and small

Greeting me with such happiness

Such togetherness

I smile and sing my species song back to them

Whilst raising my rifle to their foreheads

One by one pulling the trigger

Beaming with happiness

Wondering how this could go wrong

The Monotony of a Half-Man

Get up

Eat cereal if hungry

Drink breakfast juice

Neglect brushing teeth

Too cold for showering

Check social media

Check emails

Listen to music

Play computer games

Get changed into work clothes

 

Motorcycle there

 

WORK, WORK, WORK

WORK, WORK,WORK

 

Motorcycle back

 

Eat dinner

Chat with parents

Chat with girlfriend

Consider shower

Play computer games

Masturbate

Watch a movie

 

WRITE, WRITE, WRITE

WRITE, WRITE, WRITE

 

Read a book

Turn off the light

Think, dream

Dreaming, thinking

Sleeping

 

NIGHTMARE, NIGHTMARE, NIGHTMARE

NIGHTMARE, NIGHTMARE, NIGHTMARE

 

Wake up

 

Get up

Repeat

 

A single note plays through my mind, uninterrupted, undisturbed. Just as they would like it. Discord and changes to the note can result in beautiful melodies.