Every day is the same, so are dreams

He sits and waits

For a message, a text

A notification

Anything

To stop him from thinking about the

dull ache in his ass

From sitting in this chair

All day long

 

No door bells being rung

Nor the phone ringing

No fly, buzzing,  to fill in the emptiness

 

People don’t walk past my house much anymore

I’ll leave my curtains open this time

So if they do

They can see me

 

I watch documentaries on life

To make me feel I’m living it

 

I read quotes about hard times

To feel validated

Chewing on popcorn

Sipping strawberry milkshake

 

I come into a pair of pants

 

I stay up till 6am

Watching static and listening to distortion

 

My dreams come

She taunts me

Makes me feel ashamed

They laugh together

He sprays deodrant in my eye

I’m pushed, I fractured my wrist

Following me home

Throwing rocks

And words

Till I scream

No one sees it

They lock me inside

I have a knife in my bag

 

I wake up

Then repeat

The difference between dreams and reality

Are hard to tell these days