He sits and waits
For a message, a text
A notification
Anything
To stop him from thinking about the
dull ache in his ass
From sitting in this chair
All day long
No door bells being rung
Nor the phone ringing
No fly, buzzing, to fill in the emptiness
People don’t walk past my house much anymore
I’ll leave my curtains open this time
So if they do
They can see me
I watch documentaries on life
To make me feel I’m living it
I read quotes about hard times
To feel validated
Chewing on popcorn
Sipping strawberry milkshake
I come into a pair of pants
I stay up till 6am
Watching static and listening to distortion
My dreams come
She taunts me
Makes me feel ashamed
They laugh together
He sprays deodrant in my eye
I’m pushed, I fractured my wrist
Following me home
Throwing rocks
And words
Till I scream
No one sees it
They lock me inside
I have a knife in my bag
I wake up
Then repeat
The difference between dreams and reality
Are hard to tell these days