I wish I could say
It’s sure been a full life for me
But my feet aren’t as calloused
As I need them to be
The bags underneath my eyes
Take more and more luggage
Weighing me down with worries
Each passing day
What I really need is a place
That I can be
A heaven made just for me
Forcing myself to eat words
And spit out understanding
Or anything
As long as it doesn’t sound dumb
I’m running through faces
I’m flicking my wrists
Carefree down the street
The onions stab my eyes
But I try not to cry
As the faces lean in
Closer and closer
There’s a fly inside of me
That I try to ignore
But it keeps bloody buzzing
Away in there
I try to drown it in booze
But it dodges it
I try to punch it
But I only hurt myself
I try to smoke it out
But it’s unfazed
The buzzing gets louder
When I try to sleep
I wake up to its noise
Barely with it
I don’t remember a time
It not being there
But it’s getting louder every day
To the point where I can’t hear
Other people
Or, myself
And
That’s dangerous
These thoughts I feel
Bear down on me, they add themselves
Onto my back
They drag me down
Their weight increasing
I think about it
The load just gets heavier
I think about that also
Until I can’t move
And so I think about that
Until I’m crushed by its weight
A million flies blind my view
Their swarming black bodies buzz against me
I can feel their sick warmth
They are all I can hear
All I can
See
I walk
In search of an exit
The more I move
The more aggrivated they become
Their buzzing changes tone
Landing en-masse on my pasty skin
Vibrating their wings so rapidly
I begin to melt gradually
I close my eyes in absolute
Terror
The buzzing stops
I open my eyes
Slowly
A pure white horizon
Burnt out silver sun
I see her silhouette
I swear I can hear harps
