Fading Lights

I’m lost in a fog of doubt

I’m on good terms with everyone

But I’m friends with no one

I know how to act

And how to be

I know what to do and to say

But I’m losing the light inside

The more it fades

The more desperate I try to grab it

But you can’t possess light

It’s just there or it’s not

Rotten Mind

There’s a fly inside of me

That I try to ignore

But it keeps bloody buzzing

Away in there

I try to drown it in booze

But it dodges it

I try to punch it

But I only hurt myself

I try to smoke it out

But it’s unfazed

 

The buzzing gets louder

When I try to sleep

I wake up to its noise

Barely with it

 

I don’t remember a time

It not being there

But it’s getting louder every day

To the point where I can’t hear

Other people

Or, myself

And

That’s dangerous

Sailing

Life doesn’t change

The same patterns

The dull pleasures

Debts and feelings

Knocking weakly at the door

Of my thoughts

I try to escape my functions

 

Unshackling my ideas

Letting them sink to the riverbed

I let myself drift

Down a dimly lit stream

On a starless night

Watching people from the shore

Illuminated by distorted light

Chatting, making noise and beliefs

Never joining them

Sailing ever-on, never-ending

Wihout a single thought

Or bitter feeling

 

Lack of Communication

Hovering on top of a parade

Of tiny black ants

They lead me to the sea

But not a step further

It’s a place they can’t grasp

So they fear it

Leaving whispers in the salty air

As they head home

 

I stare out to the sea

I try to make conversation with it’s waves

But they’re too fleeting

Rising and falling

Living and dying

I don’t want to occupy too

much of their short

Lives

 

So I shout out to the ocean

Timeless

But it has no mouth

So it can’t reply even if it wanted to

I guess some things on this planet

Aren’t meant to communicate

Hit by a Train

I’m so lonely

It bites at me like a dog, gnawing at my

Bones

Threatening to take me

Piece by piece

My soul needs to touch hers

I need to be grounded

I want to float

But she is my paper weight

The one that shows me reason

When what I want is madness

 

My obsessions get worse

But my affections grow stronger

I gently think

Then I’m hit by a train

God is the driver

She jumps in front of me

To save me

We’re both goners

Humanity

I hear thunder

Its roar shaking the valley

The birds scream

The beasts run terrified

The trees brace themselves

I sit, shaking in my tent

The rain leaks through the holes

Of unrealiable plastic

I’ve run out of batteries

On everything

The wind shakes the pegs free

The only thing grounding this tent

Is me